my upcoming collection, CONTROL, is quite possibly my darkest yet. most of the pieces were written during my stay in the psychiatric ward at the hospital, doped up on a variety of sedatives. as the name implies, it studies my relationship (re: obsession) with control. the various ways in which i attempt, perhaps sometimes unhealthily, to regain the driver’s seat in my life. oftentimes with mental illness, it’s easy to feel like you aren’t even a passenger in the car, but kidnapped and locked in the trunk. this collection is, in a way, me pleading with the kidnapper. it is every attempt and every bargain. it is not for the faint of heart.
METHODS OF COPING I
we’ve buried this body before.
we’ll bury it again if we have to,
ignore the smell of rotting flesh
and the flies that won’t leave.
we’ve buried this body, several bodies,
and we’ll do it again
if we have to.
My CNF piece for a literary mag (Philadelphia Stories) is being republished for their 15th anniversary! if you’re in the philly or NJ area, you can get the mag for free! TW for mental health, abuse, suicide mention. take care of yourselves, lovelies 🥰
The piece is called Seaming, and is in equal parts a reflection of my complicated relationship with mental illness and my complicated relationship with my mother.
You can read it here. Please comment below if you have any thoughts on the piece! I’d love to know what you think.
August 10th, 2018
this is quite possibly my most important tattoo. it is positioned directly behind my “be present.” tattoo, because behind my mantra to always be mindful in every moment is my bipolar disorder. the sun: the highs; the moon: the lows. and, of course, my favourite constellation Cassiopeia, cursed for her vanity by the gods and forced to spend all eternity tied upside down in a chair with a mirror in her hand. some days i feel cursed, punished by the universe or god or many gods at once. this tattoo is always with me, even on days (like with my disorder) that i forget it’s there. it is my struggle. but more than that: it is me. it is a holistic representation of who i am. because, though i try every moment to be present and aware i am fighting a battle every second of my life. and i have to be aware and accepting of that, too. as i (in real time) speed toward mania, i have to remind myself of my life worth living goals. i have to work harder than ever to remain level, and grounded. but simultaneously: i am also amongst the stars. like Cassiopeia. i will always, always fight for a better and healthier life and i will always, always, make the best out of the absolute worst. in anycase, your support is appreciated. thank you to everyone.
i have been very busy working on several collections of poetry at once.
while, to you, it may seem like i’ve simply disappeared you’ll be pleased to learn today that it is quite the contrary!
my newest collection of poetry, forget-me-not, will be available for purchase on February 15 2019. you can pre-order it (for Kindle) on Amazon. or, you could enter the GIVEAWAY i’m hosting on goodreads. either way, be sure to add it to your shelves here.
FORGET-ME-NOT: Kara Petrovic reflects on a single relationship in their life, and invites the reader to follow along their journey: from falling at first sight, to seeing this person’s true colours reveal themselves before their very eyes. Petrovic paints the picture of pain and betrayal that comes with realizing one is being abused, or in a toxic relationship, and likewise the desperation we feel while we hold onto vehement denial.